A THOUGHT ON THE OCCASION OF FATHER'S DAY

Photo by Liane Metzler on Unsplash


Today is the 21st of June. Today is celebrated as Father's Day. A practice begun in the western hemisphere of the world and today followed by most people across the globe. It is a day earmarked to honour the work and role of fathers in today's society. The greeting most commonly associated with this day is 'Happy Father's Day'. A day when children bring gifts to their father and say thank you for their presence in their life and wish them the best ahead.

There are two main parties involved in the celebration of Father's day. The first being the fathers themselves and the second being their children. Today I wish to bring before you my thoughts on the idea of Father's day and what I think it should mean to all of us.

My Address to Children:

I wish to address the children first. You may be 60 years young or just 15 years old. Irrespective of your age, if you have a father who is alive on this earth then this question is for you. How serious are you when you greet, 'Happy Father's Day' to your father? What do you connect this greeting to?

A son or a daughter who truly means this greeting is one, who simply stated, sincerely loves their father always. It is possible to smile and say this greeting to your Dad on Father's Day but never look at him again for the next week or so. It is possible to just make it a formal affair or a tradition with the heart being far removed from the act itself.

What does it mean to love my father? To love a father means to be subject by obedience to his authority over you and to allow his wisdom to guide your life. Some of us may have a father who might be an ordinary daily wage labourer or just an office boy. His position in society might be much lower than that held by the fathers of your friends. He might be a man who you might think has never even fulfilled his basic obligations as a father. But to love him means to be able to hold his hand before that same society that looks down on him and proudly say before them, "He is my father" even when you know they may scoff at you. Remember, every human being is inherently prone to sin and failure and so is any human father. To love a father means to be able to disagree and quarrel with your father but then a little while later come back to him and say, "I am sorry Dad for disagreeing with you but thank you for telling me what you think about this. I value your opinion and shall consider it". To love him would simply mean to go to him occasionally, even if you are 60 years old yourself, hug him and say, "I love you Dad". To love him means to care for him always and spend time with him even when he grows old and frail and can seem to become a burden for you.

Do not forget my friends, God is our eternal Father. If we find ourselves incapable of honouring, valuing and loving that father who is right before us then we will most certainly find ourselves incapable of ever honouring or pleasing our heavenly Father.

Exodus 20:12 - Honour your father and your mother

The reward God promises in exchange for honouring them is incredible. God promises a long and fulfilling life on earth.

I now move on to address the role of fathers and would desire those who fall under the category of children to continue reading on in the hopes of finding a simple but heartfelt appreciation of who their fathers have tried to be in their life. I also hope those who are sons now may find this encouraging in the day when they are blessed to be fathers themselves.

My Address to Fathers:

Now I wish to focus my thoughts on the fathers around us. I wish to begin with a question to you as well. Do we really deserve to be wished a 'Happy' Father's Day? How involved are we as fathers in the lives of our children? Is my life a good example for my children?

You may just be a 20 year old young father or an 80 years young great grandfather. Irrespective of your age, I hope my words prove relevant to all of you.

The father probably has a smaller role in the birth of a child when compared to what a mother goes through and has to do but please bear in mind that once a child is born the role of a father is meant to be many times more than that of the mother. I trust you are just as aware of this statement as I am, perhaps more than I. Some of us may have had that thought for the first time when we became fathers. Standing in the hospital, having just received our firstborn in our arms and realizing how tiny and fragile yet beautiful the child looks. That moment when you realized that this is the most beautiful feeling in the world.

The post-modern age that we live in is one characterized by divided families where the mother and father live divorced and separate with the kids shared between them. It is also disheartening to know that there are homes where the mother is the home-maker and an income source in the family working with barely any rest while the father is just someone who goes to the office in the morning and comes back in the night to sleep. You can even come across many homes where the parents are full time uninvolved in the life of their children being more concerned about their careers and finance than the family. There are those homes that are rich and comfortable and don't really require both parents to work but still employ maids or nannies to take care of their children. Those who may not be as affluent would instead choose to let the grandparents raise the kids while they themselves focus on income.There are even those fathers who love their children very much but show their love by working day in and out to earn enough to satisfy every whim and desire of their ill-disciplined children. I am sorry, but despite how you may see this and justify it I cannot but say that I find them all to be violation our Creators design for fatherhood.

Forgive me for my boldness in stating that all of the above mentioned situations have been found to be contributors to the fact that many children today end up on the wrong side of society more often than not and remain traumatized for life. Some even develop life-long disorders stemming from similar reasons. Do you know that the above mentioned situations are the factual environment for a growing majority of families across the world today? Don't take my word for it. Google it and you'll find scientific research to back these claims and books that go into great depths on its details. 

At the risk of being called a feminist, I state that the biggest contributors to this condition among both parents are in-fact fathers. This is why I mentioned beforehand that after a child is born the role of a father is many times more important than that of a mother. I'd even like to think that this is probably why God who is formless and unlimited, despite not being in any away constrained by gender like us mortals (I could not think of a better statement to convey the idea) chooses to introduce himself as our heavenly 'Father' rather than a heavenly 'mother', although a close look at His word shows him fulfilling both those roles in our lives.

I realize, many of the readers would now be thinking, "I am not like that. I have tried to be a good father. I have been doing my best." To all those whose minds would have flashed this idea: please read on. 

By now, us fathers reading this must have realized that time is an important factor in our role as fathers. If you have thought so, then you are right. Time is a very important factor. So let me try and paint how one day in our life might look.

We all have 24 hours a day. We spend at least 8-10 hours at work most of the day, then some more for travel. In some cases, especially for those working in private establishments and running their own business the time at work is even more. Now assuming you are an average sleeper you then have to let go of about 8 hours as you sleep it away. Nobody likes a man who is groggy the entire day.Right? You are a social man and love to spend time with your friends over the phone or somewhere outside having a drink or two which means more time consumed.  You then spend time to unwind and relax at home perhaps watching TV or catch up with your social media profile especially WhatsApp. You go shopping to procure your household requirements. The list just keeps going. How much time do you think you have left at the end of the day to sit with your family and kids?

Now let us assume that you still have some time left at the end of a busy day do you really think you have the energy to sit with your family and enjoy that time with them. I doubt it.

Our life and relationships define who our children become, how they live and how they form relationships with people. The more they see you in their life, the more they know who you are. It is the role of the father to provide for his children and ensure their 'needs' are met, that they are trained to face the high's and low's of life as they grow. It is the father's duty to provide a safe environment for his children to grow in until they are ready to take wings and fly off to nurture their own families. He is to be the leader who inspires his children to be leaders of their generation. He is to be the firm pillar that holds them up even when the growing weight of the world bears down on his children. His energy and hard-work should be what motivates and inspires his family every day. He is to be their spiritual guide who impacts the steps of his child on the fabric of eternity.

Being a father is our full time job just as much as being a husband. These roles remain on a pedestal much higher than your standing in society and at work. You may earn a little less or have to give up a promotion or two but make sure you are never out of time or energy to spend it with your family and children. They need you to patiently listen to them as they recount their day to you even if it is just plain nonsense to you. They need you to help them in their homework, teach them to ride a bicycle or climb a tree, operate a phone or a computer, answer their curiosity on life such as how far is a star from them or what do you do at work or how does a plane fly. Involve them in the nuances of your life just as much as you should be involved in theirs. There will come a time when they will seek their freedom and you would not have many more opportunities to sit with them and relax by their side. Time and tide waits for no one, right?

Deuteronomy 11:9 says,"Teach these words of mine to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

Use every moment you have for your family, for your children. God is designing the future of your generations through you.

I pray you all remain and grow as 'happy' fathers and 'happy' children in the truest sense of the word. May every child emulate Jesus in their life in how He was a devoted son to His heavenly Father and may every father emulate our heavenly Father who loved us so much that He gave His 'everything' for us and remains actively involved in every moment of our lives. 

Disclaimer: I do not claim be wise enough to write this article for I am just as much a failure as you might be, perhaps even more but these words stem from the wisdom of my parents and the Bible and how I saw them trying to shape my life. That and the inspirations I have had from my church, friends and my old companions in life - books. If any part of this article has helped you, I claim no credit for it but simply pray that our heavenly Father be praised.